EIPHNH

Source Training.

(the most recent blog entry is at the top of the page)

Purpose of the Source: How to get to know your full inner power and strength, and how - therefore - to manifest yourself as the very source of that power.

Source day 5 (the last one).

Most people are loving and open. The fact that I sometimes encounter a jerk is too bad, but definitely nothing more than that.

Emotional goodbyes from the trainer and the assistants, who have invested so much in me. My friend Laura was there, at the end of the training. So sweet of her, my power girl.

What I believe in, has been confirmed: changing the world starts with me and with everyone who is willing to start with himself or herself.

Thank you so much fellow trainees, trainer, and assistants!

Source day 4.

Had fun, loads of it. I have discovered a new energy inside myself.

I am worthy.

The little boy is still there and he can find love with me. How tragic my experiences in the past may have been, I realize now that they do not define who I am.

Receiving is different from taking.

I received lots of love and warmth from my fellow trainees, from the trainer, and from the assistants. A wonderful day.

Source day 3.

If I do not choose for me, who is going to choose for me? Do I want to live, or am I a living dead? How can I give up so easily, knowing fully well that my love will be hurt immensely?

Fighting for my life is a painful experience. If I get killed during the fight and if I therefore cannot participate anymore, I have excluded me.

A big, muscle man with a low pitched voice is not necessarily a bully. Now, let me give him a chance. He deserves it, because he is investing in me as well. The worst thing that can happen is that I will get hurt and that I will be in pain. So what?

A day full of new realizations, tiresome, but beautiful and colorful.

Source day 2.

Making a choice can have heartbreaking consequences, but I have to make that choice eventually, for ME.

I feel guilty about having taken someone else's space and time, knowing this person needed his space and time as much as I did.

Being in training and not being at work, allows me to take off the mask of professionalism. The friendliness and tactfulness, which are necessary in my profession, I can leave behind me. Yet: what remains does not make me happy at all. Who am I, actually?

An astonishing long day from 5 pm until 1:30 am, with only two breaks of half an hour, in which assignments had to be done. Heavy and intensive.

Source day 1.

I expected to be preoccupied with me, myself, and I, so I did not want any introduction rounds etcetera. I became slightly annoyed the moment I discovered I had to do something with all the other 31 people. However, I got used to this idea, and I'm not there on my own.

My fear of hurting other people's feelings keeps me from giving (negative) feedback. What a waste: feedback is meant to help the other and to make clear to the other what his behavior is doing to me. A win-win result.

I find it hard to receive negative feedback, but, at the same time, I know myself better than anyone. People's opinions about me actually do not have any effect on me. On the other hand: I can do something constructive with any form of criticism. Why should I not?

Finally: I consider a day of training which lasts from 6 pm until 1:45 am, with half (!) an hour break a big achievement!

Let's go for day 2.

Today (23rd April, 2008) I am going to start the Source Training. Unfortunately, I have not found any links in English yet (only in Dutch), so I will look those up for you later. The content of the processes I will not discuss here or anywhere else, because I want to give everyone the opportunity to experience the training without preconceptions or prejudice, and with spontaneity.

To be continued.

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