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This blog has been closed, end of July, 2010. Visit the new one!:) Midsummer!

Saturday, 31st July, 2010.

Nice time at Georgetine's last night. We originally were planning to go to one of the Greek islands in spring 2011, but I suddenly realized that I have to save up for the USA, with Harry, as well! This is whether impossible or very hard to do: I'll discuss it with her. My stupid behavior with money fairly is limiting my choices right now.......;) Maybe she and I can go to Greece in the fall of 2011? Pffff, I don't know.

This is an example of the way I always keep complicating my life. I know I do this, I own it, but it still makes things more difficult than they ought to be.

Stunning Greek lady, dancing zeïbekiko to Lizeta Kalimeri's "Mh mou ksanafygeis nia" ("Don't leave me again"):

 

Nevertheless, I don't hate myself. I know why I do it, and I want to change it. I can. I know I can!

My apartment has been changed into a construction site: the company which does the maintenance of the building has decided to put up a metal construction of eight floors, to repair the balconies: without any communication they have sent a bunch of cheap Polish workmen to fix the rear of my building! D*mn you Starrip BV! Believe me, you won't work in this town ever again by the time I've finished with you!;) I can be a real acid queen if I want to! LOL!:)

However, anything to cheer me up:

Leo Giamani;)

By the way, "Glitter glamour Gordon" is a great show on RTL4, especially the episode with Conny Breukhoven. She looks so good, incredible!:)

Conny & Gordon

I wrote a text for the Company Council, to persuade colleagues to join several committees of the Council. People were very enthusiastic about the text, so it will be published on the intranet next week. I love to write!:) Especially in (American) English. It's such a colorful, complicated (but at the same time simple) language. Writing in Dutch is a bit more difficult for me, because it's less subtle and more straightforward, which sometimes causes the text I write to lose its nuances. I can cope though.

Inge's birthday party is tonight. Harry and I will go there around 19:30. She's turned 50! Which I will be in March, 2011. Bring it on!;)

Enjoy your Saturday, dear friends!:) Be good and safe.

PS: Hans was right about my VCR. the problem was the cable, and I fixed it!:) Thanks Hans!:)

 

 

Friday, 30th July, 2010.

I'm afraid my VCR broke down, sh*t! I have to watch my tapings of Oprah everyday, otherwise I will have to go into rehab!;) My colleague, H., has another one for me though, so I'll probably only have to miss a few reruns anyway. And I don't have the money for a hard disk recorder or anything similar to that.

Nancy Ajram, singing "Leya 7aqq" ("I have (the) right):

Work was OK, got a few important things done, and on Monday the personnel guide will go live. It's acceptable, not perfect yet, but acceptable. Our receptionists really need the information in order to do their work properly. The organization is still discovering itself, and everyday there are new challenges, but I'll say it again: never mind how exhausting work can be sometimes, I still love New-West!:) My favorite colleague, N., sat at the desk opposite mine today. We had some nice talks, and he is so cute!:) To avoid any misunderstandings: cute, straight, and taken! LOL!:) I've known him for at least 7 years now, maybe even longer.

 

It's always a bit dull when my boss isn't at the office. He brings color into the department, but he normally doesn't work on Fridays (like I don't work on Mondays). The weather is great today, so he's probably at the beach, and so he should be!;)

Mireille Mathieu, singing "La paloma adieu" ("Goodbye, dove"):

I'll meet Georgetine at 8, very happy to see her again. Always good company, a great sense of humor, and she's gorgeous too! Can't believe she's over 50, I really can't.  

The more I look at my life, the more I realize that it's really my own creation, whether it's a good or a bad one (or something in between). Energy is flowing and powerful at the same time: allowing things to happen in your life is a matter of energy flowing, nothing else. If there's nothing, everything can happen.

Enjoy your weekend, my friends. And don't use your phone in traffic!

 

 

Thursday, 29th July, 2010.

Job interviews for servicedesk assistant went very well. My boss and I already have made up our minds.

I also think that today my mind was less frantic than it was yesterday. I just felt more focused and calmer today.

Today, I realized that change is not just a matter of making up your mind. Some changes are incredibly hard to make, because of the underlying messages we constantly (and subconsciously) send to ourselves: "I can't do it", "I will fail at this as well", "I might as well......." etc. This is really important and it is also the key to a better life: acknowledging your personal underlying message. Acknowledgement is the beginning of change. My boss also pointed out that support from our significant other (which I get constantly from Harry) is crucial.

Katerina Korou, singing "Itia" ("Willow tree") (the video shows a picture of Glykeria, which is not correct):

It sounds crazy, but I'm actually looking forward to cleaning my house on Saturday. I just need to clean up, because I need some space in my mind and in my spirit as well. I strongly believe that an approach like that works miracles: clean up your closets and clean up your life. Definitely.

I LOVE lotus!:)

Watching "Smaken verschillen" (more or less: "Tastes differ"), on NET5. Five ordinary people cook for each other during a week, and they rate each other's cooking. Very entertaining.:)

When I think about balance in my life, I still think that all the aspects have to "match": you can't be true to yourself if you have debts, if you eat unhealthy food, or if you are just plain angry at everyone. All the pieces of the puzzle have to fit, and they have to be complementary. That's life: a journey to yourself, to the person you truly and really are.

Enjoy your day, or evening (depending on your time zone) everyone!:)

 

Wednesday, 28th July, 2010.

Work was too much. Too much at once, too much multi-tasking, too chaotic. Not good. Especially the personnel guide project is giving me head aches and cold sweat.

I'm also noticing that I only will absorb a certain amount of information. If the information is too much, I shut down. Self-protection.

So many things happening at the same time, it's completely overwhelming. I wonder if it's my energy, which says: "come to me, I can take it!" NOT!

Giannis Kalatzis, singing "Asnpa 8a fopesw" ("I will be wearing white"):

 

Honestly, I think the Andrélon commercials are the best ever!:):

Good shampoo as well (not that I need any, with my shaved head!;)).

I can tell you, Dutch people rape their own language! What about "tampusta" ("tooth paste"), "vraÿhaÿd" ("freedom"), or "aöugen" ("eyes")? Especially if you know it should be "tandpasta", "vrijheid", or "ogen"?! Sorry, non-Dutch people, but the Dutch know exactly what I mean!;) This country is completely going to the dogs!

However, how am I going to survive this week? I honestly don't know. The only thing I can think of is Friday night, when I will see Georgetine again. Party- and fun time. I really think friends are important, they keep you sane and grounded. And they come in all shapes and sizes, LOL!:):

Thank God Harry more or less survived his business trip to Paris; I still think it actually was not doable. I just don't understand why his company puts so much strain on its employees.

Enjoy your evening, God bless you all.

 

 

Tuesday, 27th July, 2010.

Secret of the High Priestess, did a Tarot reading for myself yesterday. Increasing influence is Five of Swords, future is Three of Cups, and Her secret is The Hanged Man. I get the message. For some reason, I can feel the chains of being at wit's end, I can feel the hope of affluence, and the humiliation of being under siege and on the verge of being conquered by the enemy.

Today, I asked myself the same question several times: "what can I do to make a change?" I think what usually works for me is starting simple: changing a routine, making sure my house is clean and tidy (gives me room to put things into perspective), playing different music (for inspiration), going to a spa (physical care keeps me grounded), things like that.

Transformation occurs through simple changes, I think.....

Harry is in Paris for work, just for one day, coming back tonight. Much too heavy for just 24 hours. I hope he had some time to relax as well, but I don't think so.

Janel and Marco are leaving tomorrow, with their daughters, and the dogs. Poor animals: they don't like planes. Especially a long flight to the USA will wear them out and frighten them as well. I wish them all a great trip nevertheless.

Work was OK. M. is going on holiday, so I'll take over some of her work for the Office Communication Server, and the personnel guide on the intranet. Nice projects, but lots of extra work. Let's see what's the best way to manage all the activities. I'll miss M. though, she's such good company!:)

Natasa Theodoridou, singing "Ti mou'xeis kavei;" ("What have you done to me?"):

 

The most beautiful scenery I'm passing by every day is the new swan family: mom, dad, and five children (if I counted them correctly). Swans are such incredible creatures and they take such good care of their children, it really touches my spirit. The children are still a bit beige/brown, and the parents are snow-white. A true miracle to watch.

Enjoy your evening!:)

 

 

Monday, 26th July, 2010.

Pain in my shoulder and neck is a bit less, but still there. I'm trying to take it easy on the painkillers. Feeling OK, actually, because I slept well last night, which is crucial for me.

Watching daytime TV on one of my favorite channels, RTL4. Reba is on!:)

Reba McEntire

I just called my bank for an advance on my savings, which they granted. Thank God, because money is tight yet again. Will I ever learn?;) I need a good financial advisor and some stuff to repair the hole in my hand!:)

Despina Vandi, singing "Ta lefta" ("Money"):

I love the initiative of this web site, to cut down the consumption of meat, for environmental and health reasons. Are you going to join me once a week? I'm already fish- and meat-free anyway, but I think this is a wonderful idea!:) I am not against eating meat, as you all know, but reducing it is a great plan, don't you think so as well?:) Thanks Liesbeth, darling, for pointing it out to me.

E-mail me if you have any nice vegan or vegetarian recipes. I'll publish them for you!

I always thought that I had borderline syndrome, you know, living in extremes, an inclination towards addictive behavior. Now, it seems that people like myself are called "hyper-sensitive" Ehm, I beg your pardon? It seems, if you are sensitive to light, noise, crowds, and other stimuli, you are hyper-sensitive. It's pretty normal too........me......normal?? LOL!:) Well, it certainly gives me something to think about!

Not crazy after all!:):

One of my servicedesk assistants pointed out that she likes to do some extra work in projects. I found something I think she will like: writing a user instruction for our new chat program, OCS. It's always good to see that people want to do new things, to grow in their professional lives.

Tomorrow, I will have my first meeting with a consultant of company F., to talk about a new contract. They are the company which has provided us with our reservations module, very important for our organization. Boss won't be there tomorrow, but I can do this on my own.

Well, enjoy your day and be good and safe. Don't use your phone in traffic!

 

Sunday, 25th July, 2010.

So, Janel and Marco are busy packing. Poor Harry, he'll miss one his best friends for sure!:(

Oprah's show Friday (rerun) was about turning your passion into your profession. I think Harry would make a great: stylist, make-up artist, interior designer, personal advisor/assistant, author. Lots of opportunities.........skills, and talents! Go for it, darling!

Daniëlle thought I wouldn't come to her birthday celebration, because it's on a Wednesday. I know, I hate Wednesdays, but I am certainly not going to miss out on her birthday! I'll have a stiff drink in advance. LOL!;) Besides that, Melissa states that Wednesday is the new Friday, I don't know what that is about, but it helps.

Lucy is drunk again!:):

 

The pain in my neck and right shoulder has been killing me for the past few days. I am almost stoned with painkillers, but it's a very deep pain which decreases only slowly. I know what caused it: too late nights last week, too much stress, and many questions about my life, whether I'm going in the right direction, and whether I am making the right decisions. Not always, but more often I think I am actually doing the right things, with the right goals in the back of my mind.

"Send us to/give us the right path".

Harry brought me red roses last night, very sweet of him. I also had bought myself some bright orange flowers earlier that day, so my house looks a lot more cheerful than it did in the past week. Flowers are like medicine to my spirit, healing and uplifting.

Amsterdam is cloudy today, with a nice temperature. Not too hot. Harry already thinks it's chilly! LOL!;) I'm expecting hotter weather tomorrow though.

I like the new moisturizing cream for men, by Gillette. Not too oily, you don't need to apply much of it for a great result. It's called "Gillette Soin Hydratant". Don't you just love their web site?:)

I think Vicky Leandros is one of the best interpreters of Mikis Theodorakis's music. Album: "Vicky Leandros singt Mikis Theodorakis" (partly in German, partly in Greek).

"Zauber einer Nacht" ("The magic of a night"):

Enjoy your Sunday everyone!:)

Saturday. 24th July, 2010.

Harry and I said goodbye to Janel and Marco yesterday night. They are leaving for the USA on Wednesday (San Antonio). Particularly difficult for Harry, because Janel is a close friend and colleague. Difficult for me because they are both such sweet and lovely people! I'll also miss Henkie and Lia a lot: the greatest dogs in the world!:) We celebrated anyway, with a great Indian take-away dinner. Especially the vegetarian menu was exquisite!

We arrived in Amsterdam around 02:30, took a taxi (very cute Moroccan taxi-driver, but clueless! LOL!:)) I was so happy to get home (at Harry's that is) and to be able to finally sleep for eight hours. The week has been exhausting. I felt much better when I got up this morning (even before Harry, which is highly unusual).

Listening to Antzela Dimitriou's "Oksugovo" ("Oxygen"). The album consists of two CD's: new songs and a live compilation. This is one of the tracks:

The heat is still killing me, even though temperatures have dropped to 20 degrees. I think the heat has settled in my body, something like that.

Harry had some lovely ideas for Inge's birthday next Saturday. She will become 50, so a fifty golden hits album (with Dutch songs, of course!) and half a bottle of champaign will do the trick. Well done, darling!:)  

René Riva, singing "C'est la vie" ("That's life"):

Janel suggested I'd skype with her, once she's in the USA. Very good idea! I'll get a webcam as soon as possible.:) Which reminds me: I was planning to go on YouTube with Konstantinou.nl, but I still haven't done anything with that idea. I promise you: I'll do it!

People (and I mean almost everyone) tell me I look very well and radiant. I don't feel radiant though. I'm still struggling with the issues I always have been struggling with. I actually think the reason that I look a bit better is good cosmetics, enough sleep, and acceptance.;) And, not to forget, my exercise and diet regime.

Oh, by the way, I learned a knew English word this morning: "precipitously"!:)

I wish you all a wonderful weekend!:) 

 

 

Friday, 23rd July, 2010.

Yesterday evening, I went to see my ex-colleague, J., to help her setting up some profiles for Hyves, Twitter, etc. I love her house! Three floors, a real Amsterdam atmosphere, at one of the most wonderful neighborhoods in Amsterdam. She showed me around the house, which I appreciated very much.

My working day was heavy: my colleague, M., came to visit us with her new-born baby. I really loved to see her again, and her son of course. Only, other M. and I just had a little bit of time to enjoy the visit. We are working hard on the implementation of a personnel guide, and on kicking off the new company chat software we want to test, with the help of some of our other colleagues, in IT, Facilities, and Information Management.

A rerun of Oprah, with Lady Gaga. Great brief interview and fantastic live performance. Lady Gaga, singing her hit "Poker face":

Today will be a bit more relaxed, but anything can happen at work right now, even during the holiday period. After work, I'll go to Central Station to meet Harry. We are going to Utrecht to have dinner at Janel and Marco's, who will be leaving for the USA, for good! Very sad to hear, but I think they are both very excited about their new life.

 

I still feel very tired, so I'll try to spread my energy wisely.

Enjoy your day everyone!:)

 

Wednesday, 21st July, 2010.

A bit of a rough day, but I think it went well. A good talk with my boss, initially some doubts about the candidates I selected for the servicedesk assistant job. Doubt is not always convenient, but nevertheless very healthy. It implies self-reflection.

My colleague, M., will come by the office @ Osdorp tomorrow. She's just had a wonderful baby. I'll be there around ten, because I just want to see her, her new-born child, and everyone else for that matter.;)

Wonderful Giorgos Dalaras, singing "Ta paidia ths geitonias sou" ("The children of your neighborhood"):

I think Giorgos Dalaras is truly the best Greek male singer of all times.

As for myself, I think I want to catch up on all the things I've missed. That's the reason why I always have these displays of extreme behavior. After three really severe periods of depression in my life, I really want to enjoy everything there is. Except for the fact that I - even in my enjoyment - use destructive means to accomplish this. Story of my life: booze, drugs, late nights, destruction. I am still very grateful to my body for putting up with all this, I really am! The other thing is: I wonder why I have ever been unhappy with the way I look (except for the fat periods in my life, which are many!). Sometimes, I look at photographs of my childhood, my adolescence, my twenties, my thirties, and I just think about how stupid I was. How ignorant about life and other people. I looked absolutely stunning, and I had a lot of potential. What a waste! However: is it a waste? Oprah says that we all are exactly where we should be in life. She's probably right..........

Second time, Diana Ross, singing "It's my turn":

I was really impressed by Oprah's show with Kirstie Alley, and her struggle with weight. I can totally relate to that.

I know many people like this weather, but I hate it: it's far too hot and humid. It makes me feel yuk! Something two or three showers a day even can't fix!;) I'm glad the day is over, just because it was too hot to work anyway.

Enjoy your evening, dear friends!:)

 

Tuesday, 20th July, 2010.

This was a difficult day, because I didn't sleep enough last night. However, it went OK. I've been reading the applications for servicedesk assistant. I selected four letters and resumes for my boss, and gave him some (unrequested;)) advice. The interviews will start next week I guess.

The heat today was absolutely killing me. It's over 30 degrees in Amsterdam, hardly bearable. Right now, the sun is gone, and it's a bit cloudy. The trees look great: bright green. The only thing I don't like is the fact that there are no small birds anymore in my neighborhood. I think they have gone because of the crows and the pigeons. At Harry's, I often see small birds fly by, really beautiful ones.

At the office, it's really quiet: lots of people away on holiday. Still a lot of work to do though. The good thing is that the telephone is a lot less busy, as well as e-mail. But still so many things to take care off, because we're basically a completely new organization.

Listening to Vicky Leandros's "Möge der Himmel" ("May heaven......"). This is the title track:

 

Harry and I have decided to go to Berlin in autumn. I prefer going to Berlin, because I've already been to Athens several times, and I have never been to Berlin. It doesn't mean I don't want to go to Athens anymore, but maybe next spring would be a good option. I definitely want to see Petros and his significant other!:)

Berlin, Alexanderplatz.

It was great to see my boss again: he's always inspirational, positive, full of empathy. I truly love that man!:)

I think the most difficult part of this whole new situation is that I don't see my colleagues of the Werf anymore. It's not useful for me to go there, except for a social visit, which I will do of course. Still, it's different. And those people really have stolen my heart. So, time to move forward, with a bit of emotional soreness. That's life.;)

God bless you.

Monday, 19th July, 2010.

A very hot day, which, for me, is difficult. I don't like these extreme temperatures. But I know Harry does, so he is happy!:) Tomorrow, Amsterdam will have a true tropical climate, at least for one or two days.

Of course, Harry is the ultimate man in my life and the sweetest and cutest man who ever lived, but I also like to look at other beautiful men. You know how I absolutely love beauty! So, Harry appears in this slideshow, together with gorgeous Ahmed Marcouch, Ali B, and Jeroen van Koningsbrugge, enjoy Freddy's Summer 2010 Gorgeous Men Slideshow!

 

 

What makes a man beautiful? I myself think it's about what he does to the room when he enters. Radiance, altruism, him being interested in other people more than he is in himself, a caring, loving personality, that is what makes a man a real man.

Doing some laundry, preparing for work tomorrow, and blogging for you. That's basically what I'm doing today. Oh, and drinking gallons of rosé, but that's nothing new!;)

I'm looking forward to see my boss again tomorrow. He's been on holiday for a week, and I've missed his over-all cuteness (of course!) and his inspiration as well.

Kaity Garbi, singing "Allo esu ki'allo egw" ("Whether you or me"):

  Dedicated to my boss! He adores Kaity Garbi.:)

Janel and Marco are leaving for the USA very soon. Friday, Harry and I will have dinner with them for the final time, in Utrecht. I will miss them terribly, but thank God there is FaceBook and other networks! I wonder how Marco is going to cope though.......He is from Spanish-Dutch origin, and I don't think he is used to the American lifestyle. However, Janel is American (but European in some of her ways as well!;)), so she'll help him through the adjustment process. I have a good feeling about them living in the USA. It will be successful, I can sense it.

My Czech friend M. came by last night, for a few hours. Lots of fun, and I still think his Dutch is hilarious!;) He speaks it very well actually, but the way he composes his sentences.........well, interesting!:) Of course, I fell asleep. Not because of his company, but because I am almost 50 years old, and I can't cope with late nights very well (anymore). Trance music for 4 hours, and a few joints......God, I can't do it!;) I woke up completely unconscious this morning (or afternoon rather!).;) However, thanks for the great time, M.!:)

LOL!:)

Enjoy your evening people!:)

 

 

Sunday, 18th July, 2010.

Yesterday evening, I prepared an endive salad with black beans, and some macaroni and cheese (no dessert). Harry loved it!:) Actually, for me it was quite nice to eat richer food than I normally do. As long as I stick to my food schedule for the rest of this week, it will be OK!;)

I can cook, people!:)

I believe, at this moment, Uganda and Jamaica are the worst countries for gay people. What can we do? Well, actually, I think we can do a lot. We should write e-mails or letters to e.g. the Ugandan Consulate in The Netherlands, The Dutch Embassy in Uganda, the Jamaican Consulate in Amsterdam, and the Dutch Embassy of Jamaica, which in fact is situated in Havana, Cuba(!). Do you think writing letters or e-mails doesn't make a difference? Think again! Don't underestimate the power of your writing. Don't ever underestimate what you do, and the intention you have doing it.

Listening to Dana International's album "Free", which is a great CD. This is a track from it:

Dana International.

What I like about the American political system is, that everyone can write to their representatives at the Congress, and actually is able to make a difference. The same goes for the UK, at least, in their local politics. In The Netherlands, we give our politicians far too much VIP-power, which they are absolutely not entitled to. They ought to be of service, of service to us, to the people, to the country. Their egos should be invisible altogether. They in fact are our servants. Nothing more, nothing less. It's time they do what they are supposed to do!

Thank God, some of them do:

Marcouch & lady at demonstration against anti-gay violence.

About the gay topic: don't underestimate our power! More and more countries are legalizing gay marriage. This especially goes for European countries, but also for, e.g., Argentina (thx for the tip, Harry)! In every fight for equal rights, we need our straight friends, and the support of Christian, Jewish, and Muslim communities. I firmly believe that our religious communities are able to make a difference. Do it, people! Homosexuality is not a choice, gay people are born gay. Very important to realize that, and equally important to transfer this message to your communities! Remember: the more you allow people to be their authentic selves, the more value they will have for our (and your!) society (a very powerful statement by Ahmed Marcouch).

Islam equals peace, tolerance, and spirituality.

That's it for now, my friends. Enjoy your Sunday!:) 

 

 

Saturday, 17th July, 2010.

All human beings come from a mother's womb. We are all the same part of one human family. We should have a clear realization of the oneness of all humanity. - Dalai Lama.

So, just imagine that you won't be able to say "you are different" anymore, to anyone. Because there is no difference between human beings. All the things you identify yourselves with: money, possession, religion(!), cultural heritage are nothing. They are futile, because you are not different from anyone else. Your position in society doesn't mean anything. The only thing that means something is your role in the human family: how do you support, nurture, love your brothers and sisters of this family? You are no better or worse than anyone. There is only equality.

That definitely is the message of Ascension, of which I am a firm believer. The role of every single politician, royal, president, dictator, religious leader, will be played out in less than two years. In the long run, religions like Islam, Christianity, and Judaism will cease to exist, because they don't serve any purpose anymore. Soon, discrimination will no longer be an issue, because it doesn't belong to the spirit of human beings. Discrimination, negative judgment, inequality, and violence are basically unnatural and foreign to us.

Antzela Dimitriou, singing "Exoume kai leme" ("We have, we say...."):

Dinner at Rob and Laura's was great. Wonderful atmosphere in their lovely garden, great food, and nice conversation. I am glad they are doing well. Harry and I were exhausted though, so, when we arrived at his, we immediately went to sleep.

My job is very demanding. It really wears me out, despite the fact that I like it very much. Can you imagine, even in this holiday period I am exhausted because of work? It's just the way it is. I have to get a lot of things done and, along the way, I need the help of a lot of people as well. It's a matter of negotiating, communication, giving advice, mentorship, support, and many other factors.

Listening to Antzela Dimitriou's live CD "Thusia" ("Sacrifice"). Very good music.The first CD contains greatest hits, the second traditional laïka music. Great music for a summer party!

Antzela Dimitriou.

Summer in Amsterdam so far is very nice. Great weather, an occasional thunderstorm (hey, we're Dutch!), and lots of sunshine. I hope it will be this beautiful on Pride Weekend!:) If you like Amsterdam, you should visit us 6-8 August! Hope to see you there somewhere.:)

Enjoy your weekend!:)

 

 

Thursday, 15th July, 2010.

"Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives". Except that time, in my perception, is going faster than sand through the hourglass. My goodness, I can hardly keep up with everything that happens, mostly at work. Nevertheless, lots of good things are going on there.

For those of you who wonder where all my fan pages (Oprah, Ahmed Marcouch, and Antzela Dimitriou) have gone: Ahmed is an MP now, so he doesn't need special support anymore. As for Oprah and Antzela: of course, I still am a huge fan, but I don't see the advantage of maintaining special pages for them at present. All three heroes can still be found on my Friends page though: Freddy's friends.

Many of my servicedesk people will be on holiday next week, but I think I created a good schedule for the coming weeks. They'll cope. Despite the summer recess of the Council and the Board, a lot of projects are still being started and continued. That's a good thing for a growing organization like New-West. Working there gives me more and more positive energy. My colleague X., who started just this week, noticed this in himself as well: good vibes from the people.

This morning, I watched the rerun of Dr. Phil's "Girl world", about bullying among young girls at school. Shocking, disgusting! So few people realize the impact they have on other people's lives, especially when they are young. Apart from that, I really think our society, our world, has reached the summit of cruelty altogether. Unacceptable, but, the good news is that we can change this negative spiral ourselves: practice self-reflection and conscious living, instead of victimizing yourself or - even worse - victimizing others. We, deep in ourselves, have all the potential we need; it's already there, use it! Let's transform ourselves and let's transform the world. It's time!

Jane Bogaert, singing "What is life?" (Eurovision 2000 - Switzerland):

Tomorrow, Harry and I are going to Laura and Rob's, for dinner & drinks. So great to see them again! Laura has done a lot for me in the past. Above everything else, she never lost her faith in me. She is one of the few people who didn't, at the time. Loyal friends are rare, and of incredible value.

God bless you. 

 

 

Wednesday, 14th July, 2010.

Celebrating the French Revolution in 1789........hm, beheaded royals and noblemen, I don't know. Not my idea of a celebration!;) Anyway "Joyeux Quatorze Juillet"!

You know me: I love revolution! The great thing about Harry is that he appreciates small changes. On top of that, he notices them and he can see their value. Deep down, I agree with him, but I actually am a revolutionary, confrontational person. I want people to realize things by shock and hard confrontation. For instance, this is what happens if you text (SMS) and drive at the same time:

Don't expect me to be sorry for you. I've warned you ten million times: don't use your phone in traffic!

Adil didn't know that I speak and write Arabic, so, when I wrote down his name and asked if this was the correct spelling, he was very surprised! Actually, because I keep mixing up "Aadil" and "Adiil", which annoys me very much. That's the reason I asked him. Adil works at company U., which does all the changes on our servicedesk system. So, we became friends on FB!:) Adil has just become a proud father, I am very happy for him.:)

Antzela Dimitriou, singing "Problhma 8a exeis" ("You will have a problem....."):

 

This song is from the album "Ta 'da ola" ("I've seen everything").

Rain is pouring down on Amsterdam, heavily. I'm so glad I arrived home just on time! You all know that my view is great, so it's wonderful to look outside and see the bright sky with showers of heavy rain. It's still hot though. Very exhausting.

People were truly moved by my story about "not being good enough". I think I touched a nerve there, which is very good. There are a lot of people, just like me, who really have to heal themselves from underlying, toxic thoughts like that. Take care of yourself people!

God bless you.

 

 

Tuesday, 13th July, 2010.

Today, I went to see my people at the other two locations of New-West. They are still working hard, but they are more relaxed than a few weeks ago. Some of them definitely need a holiday, badly!;) IT is still very busy and hectic, which actually is too much for them. They have worked non-stop since the date of the re-organization (1st May, 2010).

Super-handsome colleague X. started today, as co-ordinator of the janitors. We used to have a lot of contact at the Werf, where I went every week to solve IT-problems. Of course, everything has changed. Our jobs, our positions, but it's still great to see him anyway!:) Welcome back!:)

Memories:

The conversation I had with my coach yesterday has helped me a lot. The idea that "it's never good enough" really has a huge impact on everything I do. This realization in itself is enough to improve things at work (and outside work!). A huge step forward.

Listening to Antzela Dimitriou's album "Maurh lista" ("Black list"). This track is from the album. It's called "Meine sto kosmo sou" ("Stay in your (own) world"):

Celebrations in honor of the Dutch soccer team are taking place today @Amsterdam. I'm not going, but I guess a lot of people are. Let's be honest; being second to the winner is not bad at all. So, congratulations guys!

Finances are finally looking up a bit. I see improvement every week, which doesn't mean it's all going smoothly; it takes a lot of work! However, it's worth it. As I wrote before: your financial position is a metaphor for your life, just like the amount of clutter you have in your house, or the way you take care of yourself, physically.

....all those challenges are part of our spiritual journey.

I personally think that a shower not only wakes us up, it also calms us down, washing away the negative energy we might have collected during the day. That's why I shower twice a day. If you don't use products which are too aggressive for your skin (or just plain water instead), you can do that for yourself easily, and it works!

Harry gave me three Scissor Sisters albums!:) So happy with those.

Scissor Sisters, "Whole new way":

Enjoy your evening, and God bless you.

 

 

Monday, 12th July, 2010.

We all have messages we send to ourselves, subconsciously. Underlying messages we are not even aware of, most of the time. However, they can really sabotage us, in everything we do.

During my coaching session this morning, I realized that a lot (if not all) I do is constantly being accompanied by the underlying message: "it's never good enough, no matter what I do". This makes sense, and it explains why I always feel so tired and depleted. Actually, it explains almost everything that has been happening in my life, through the years. A real break-through moment that was.

Another thing I noticed today is that I am not invisible anymore. Apparently, losing 4 kilos makes people notice you. Disgusting. Because it means that, to most people, I am nothing more than an exterior with too much, or a little bit less, flesh. It's true people: if you are overweight, people don't notice you. Fat people are the most ostracized group in our society. Very painful.

Invisible Visible

Amsterdam is covered in clouds and rain. It's still hot, but a little cooler than in the past few days.

Spain is world champion. I think it is well deserved, though The Netherlands surely could have used the temporary boost of becoming the winner. Our country is going down the drain: yet another incident of homophobia in the center of Amsterdam, after the game, around 23:00 last night. Pieter tweeted about it. The ethnic origin of the perpetrators? Do I need to write this down even? Exactly. And still, people are wondering why the PVV is growing...........Discipline your children, parents! It's your f***ing job!! You are ruining our country, turning it into a banana republic with street laws! I will never forgive you for this, ever. If you are not capable of raising your children properly, don't have them in the first place!

Antzela Dimitriou, "Ftaiei o epwtas" ("Love is to blame"):

The Dutch team got 9(!) yellow cards and one red. What is wrong with those people? Can't they see the difference between a cage fight and a soccer game?? Violence, violence, and more violence..........

My last coaching session will be in the first week of August. It will take a bit of getting used to, but I'll cope with the new situation at work, I already am coping with it pretty well anyway. Tomorrow, a new week begins, with new challenges, and a lot of unexpected bumps in the road. Let's see what I can do!;)

God bless you.

 

 

Sunday, 11th July, 2010.

Session with job coach has been carefully prepared. Finished just now.

Cycling to and from Harry's (IJburg) wasn't easy; far too hot, and rain on the way back today.

Harry is going to Museumplein tonight, to watch the game en masse on a big screen, with 10 quazillion other people. Sorry, darling not exactly my thing!;)

This is my contribution (thanks Harry, for the lovely picture, complete with "Beessie"!):

Despite the fact that I think it's a pity that Germany is out, I still hope that The Netherlands will win tonight: our country could use some positive energy, because that is certainly not coming from anything else at the moment!

Except for the gorgeous looks of Ibrahim Afellay, of course:

It's alarming how I almost literally "collapsed" into sleep last night at Harry's: and I wasn't even drunk!;) For the first time ever(!), I even forgot to brush my teeth, which I never skip. Unbelievable. I must be physically and mentally exhausted, otherwise this wouldn't happen.

Pinar Ayhan, singing "Yorgunum anla" ("I am weary right now"):

 

I skipped exercise today, because my muscles were hurting, so I only did a bit of stretching (and 50 minutes of cycling of course!). I've lost 4 kilos up 'till now, and I look much better than two weeks ago (76 kilos right now). I would be happy with a weight of 70 kilos, but I don't think that's doable for me. We'll see.

Antzela Dimitriou, singing "Esu ti les;" ("What do you say?") (1990):

Have a wonderful evening everyone!:) May the best team win.

 

 

Saturday, 10th July, 2010.

Forgot to tell you that I had a nice after-work gathering yesterday, with my colleagues from the IT department at the local pub.

My apartment is darkened by the closed cotton curtains, because of the heat. It stays outside, thank goodness. Though I will cycle to Harry's later, which I like to do regardless. Well, he hasn't invited me yet, but I hope he will!;)

Talking about the men in my life, Everett and Corrigan are only internet friends, but I really think they are soooooo cute, both of them!:) Of course, only softcore pictures appear in the show below:

 

 

If you don't like the disco sound, you can turn it off with one of the buttons. The same goes for the volume.

Oprah's show with Ryan Seacrest and Jamie Oliver was very nice. I specifically like the idea that more and more people want to change the way we think about food. I'm not saying that everyone should become a vegetarian, but it's certainly good to make some conscious choices about the food you put into your body everyday.

Suggestions: one meat-free day a week, only buy vegetables which were produced in your own country or maybe even in your own region, buy fruit and vegetables which belong to the season, make sure you buy fish from the ocean or the sea, which has been swimming around freely (nice idea, right?;)). Salmon which has lived in an artificial pond is not exactly a healthy choice, at least, that is my opinion.

Of course, there are many more things you can do. Looking for more suggestions? Go to Oprah.com. Or take my advice: try the wonderful meat-free products you can buy at your local supermarket. Dutch Albert Heijn has excellent vegetarian products, but I know for a fact that the UK is far ahead of The Netherlands, regarding vegetarian food. If you think British food is no good, think again! Sainsbury's is a great example, or Marks and Spencer.

Gorgeous Mohamed Hamaki, singing "We 'ftakarti" ("And I was thinking"):

 

I think I am well-rested, finally. I think it's awful to be so tired all the time, but I know it's a side-effect from the medicine I'm taking. Sometimes I think I just want to quit cold turkey. Not a good idea.........

Laundry done, only some washing up to do, not really heavy stuff. Much too hot for that.

Blog you later, God bless you!

 

 

Friday, 9th july, 2010.

Have I ever told you that I have problems with my ears? Well, I have. They drive me nuts, because I seem to have inherited bad hearing, and problems with ear infections from my mother. Thanks mom!;) She always denied she had problems with her hearing, and she accused others of not speaking clearly. Yeah, right mom. Remember: DENIAL is not only a river in Egypt (thanks for this marvelous quote, Harry!)!

The heat in Amsterdam is killing me. I know Harry likes it (Maltese roots), but it drives me completely crazy. I try to stay calm all the time, and my work tempo has been cut in half because of these temperatures. On the other hand, I love summer because of its great skies, the way the light flows into my apartment quite naturally. So, it's not just suffering, it's kind of an ambiguous relationship I have with summer.

Bananarama, "Cruel summer":

My boss is on holiday next week. He deserves it, and he needs it badly, for sure. Let's see if we can cope without him!;) I think it's very good for us all that summer has really begun; we finally can relax just a little bit and do the things we have to do at work, without any pressure. Things are going well @ New-West. I think the new district was born under fortunate stars indeed!;)

Amsterdam New-West was born under the astrological sign of Taurus, great, earthy sign (my ascendant by the way):

Soon, I'm going to create a new friends-page. I used to have one, but I removed it from Konstantinou.nl, because I wanted something different. I'll start tonight with some ideas. It's very important for all of us to be inspired by people who really want to make a difference, people who are able to look beyond religion, politics, and other trivia. It's about our existence, about us being human beings.

Tender moon, "Call of the valley":

 

I wish you all a wonderful weekend!:)